Well, here I am again.
I have been in Edinburgh for one month now and it's been a mix of emotions and experiences. Happiness at settling into a new home and life, the hellos and the excitement in the newness. This has been a dream for so long I can't even pin down when it started. But on the other side there is the sadness in the exchange of my wandering for a more settled life, the goodbyes and the niggling fear of what if it doesn't work out? This fear is pretty easy to allay, as it always works out in some way, whether it's how you thought it would or not. The more deep seated fear is, what if I don't like it?
Fortunately I have decided for the moment that I do like it.
However, it is hard right now because I don't have a job yet so I don't feel completely settled. But I get the feeling this is the kind of place that gets under your skin, that you might not realise how much you like it until you leave, and then you miss it with more feeling than you thought. At the moment I already feel like at the end of my two years I will be leaving. Not because I won't love my time here, and not because I'll be done with it by then, but because there are too many other adventures ahead. My love for Asia is too big to ignore, and I know I will have to indulge myself with an extended stay or I will forever regret it. But I can see how, day by day, I will fall more in love with it here, so that when that time comes I will leave with great sadness.
One of my goals for 2013 is to write in my blog more regularly. Nearly a month has passed so far without this happening, but I do have a list of things I want to talk about. So here's to the next year and the complete unknown that it is.
- Sail away from the safe harbour, catch the trade wind in your sails -